What is this?

What is this? I don't really know, other then a continuation of my updates and writings that I was sharing previously on Caringbridge of this journey through cancer and now widowhood and single parenting.

Maybe it won't end up being anything at all, or maybe it will be a glimpse into my heart, my life, my current situation, my testimony.

Whatever it becomes, I am touched that you are interested.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Home Hospice

What a week it's been. I can't even put into words how overwhelming it is to be the primary caretaker of my husband and an infant. God's grace is the only thing getting me through right now. I have no option to fall apart.

Thankfully He has blessed us with an amazing baby. She has been sleeping through the night in her nursery already, at 2 months old.

The other night 9news did a little story on us. They did a wonderful job. Here is the link:

http://www.9news.com/story/news/local/2014/09/02/dying-father-wants-to-help-family/14994123/ />

Brandon also got an encouraging note from Jason Dufner, a pro golfer. That made Brandon so happy!

I can't remember if I had mentioned the video Tim Tebow sent Brandon too? So honored! http://vimeo.com/m/104636939 Password: secnation

Close friends and family have been in and out constantly, taking care of us. I am so utterly taken aback by all the support we have felt. Saying thank you can not even begin to express how we feel. For every kindness extended to us, I intend to pay it forward in the future. This experience will surely refine my abilities of helping others through the cancer fund in the future, Lord willing.

Brandon is hanging in there. His tender spirit is shining bright in this darkness. He is so gracious and kind, even in the midst of this mess. He truly is my hero and an amazing inspiration.

Many people have asked about visiting and unfortunately at this time we have to limit it mostly to family. Brandon is very weak and unable to visit much without it taking a toll on him.

I want to write more, but I've been trying to get this out for 3 days now, and if I don't post now - who knows how many more days it will be.

Thank you for your continued prayers for us all. We need them and are feeling them. This is the most difficult thing I have ever faced, and I know that it is only going to get worse before it gets better. I keep repeating 'One day at a time'.

Please pray for comfort and God's mercy on Brandon, and continued strength and endurance for us all. Currently 4 of us have been camped out in the living room, all caring for Brandon and each other as best we can.

And of course...prayers for miraculous healing.

On Wednesday a package arrived, a gift for me from Brandon. I had always harassed him about wanting a second band to go on the other side of my engagement ring. I like things symmetrical. So the plan was to get me one on our 5 year anniversary, however we were fighting cancer the first time then and did not have the finances. So we said when we start a family, that will complete it; engagement, marriage and family. That thought had been completely lost in all the chaos, until the other day when Brandon contacted my parents to see if they could help him get the band from my dad's jeweler, Carroll's Jewelers in Doylestown, where we got our wedding bands. Not only did they generously gift us the band, but also engraved Aria's name and birthdate and rushed it in the mail to us, so Brandon could give it to me. My dad was there the second they opened the next day to help make it happen. It's such a special gift that I will treasure forever, and something that I know will be passed on to Aria some day. I am so grateful for their kindness and generosity to us.

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