What is this?

What is this? I don't really know, other then a continuation of my updates and writings that I was sharing previously on Caringbridge of this journey through cancer and now widowhood and single parenting.

Maybe it won't end up being anything at all, or maybe it will be a glimpse into my heart, my life, my current situation, my testimony.

Whatever it becomes, I am touched that you are interested.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

A huge thank you

As the days monotonously pass I am at a loss for words. I'm not quite sure what I have to share. But God has put it on my heart to continue to share our journey and many of you have encouraged me to continue writing updates, so I will do my best.

I want to thank you all for your support. I was amazed at how many people came to Brandon's Memorial Service and was repeatedly blown away at the sight of quite a few people who took the time to come and honor Brandon's life that I never would have expected. I'm sorry I did not get a chance to greet each of you before or after the service. If you didn't sign the guest book, and I didn't get to say hello, please send me a message so I know you were there.

I'm so grateful that Brandon's parents arranged the live streaming. There were so many who could not physically attend, but with over 3,000 views I know how far Brandon's life has reached. And thank you all for sticking with us through all 2 1/2 hours of it! Though it was long, I am glad that so much of the impact of Brandon's life was able to be shared, and that was only a small handful of the people who would have loved the opportunity to speak. I only wish we could have incorporated a short intermission!

I'm quite nervous to watch the service video as I didn't know that the camera would be on our faces at all, and I can't imagine how many of my awkward crying faces you all had to see. But can you believe that Aria made it through the entire service?!? She is such a good baby.

It rained and was cold and windy up at the burial site, over 8000 feet in altitude. A one lane dirt road winds up Mount Lindo to where Brandon's earthly body is laid to rest. There could not be a more perfect place for him. The road up is reminiscent of the roads we drove on camping trips, and there is a view of snow capped Mount Evans from the site. I'll share with you part of the description:

The beauty of it is that our home is nearby, and Brandon commented to me practically weekly about how much he loved being able to see that illuminated cross so near our house and know the love story it represented. And now I know that all I have to do is look upon that cross and know where he is, both in body and in spirit.

I want to take a moment to say thank you to all who donated to Aria's Hope Chest in lieu of flowers. We are going to open her a bank account this week and 100% of what was given will start an investment for her future that you all have given to her and I, and to Brandon.

Once all the medical bills, nursing facility costs, funeral expenses and service fees are paid, I hope to be able to contribute a portion of what is left of the fundraisers to her account as well.

As I look at that looming list of financial responsibilities my heart aches with gratitude that they are that, responsibilities, not burdens, thanks to everyone that selflessly has given to us. Thank you to each and every one of you that has given the priceless gift of immediate financial peace to me. Not only have you relieved a huge worry from me, but you have also taken some of the weight of worry for Aria and I from my parents and Brandon's parents and brother. But most importantly you gave that gift of assurance to Brandon in his final days. He was able to release that concern, that heavy burden, and concentrate on the beautiful things of this world. You will never know how deeply your gifts have reached.

Your prayers for strength have been heard and multiplied. God is sustaining me in ways I never could imagine. He remains faithful, and I am doing my best to remain hopeful.

Thank you for continuing to walk this path with me, and forgive me for the choppiness of this post. I have been trying to get the time to update for days now and my brain is still quite foggy.

"As you look to the west of Denver in the foothills in the evening, you will see the Olinger Mount Lindo Cross illuminated. The cross on Mount Lindo began as a gesture of love between two people in the early 1940's. Francis Van Derbur once owned the land at Mount Lindo. He decided he would put a light at the top of the mountain so his wife, Pearl, would be able to see where he would rest after he died. the Cross began construction in 1963, and was lit for the first time on Easter morning in 1964. It is the largest electrically lighted cross in this country, possibly in the world. The cross measures 393 feet vertically and 254 feet horizontally. It can be seen from a distance of 80 miles."

1 comment:

  1. And the was placed there by a man who was a serial child rapist http://www.westword.com/news/crowning-achievement-5079863


Thank you for sharing your thoughts!