What is this?

What is this? I don't really know, other then a continuation of my updates and writings that I was sharing previously on Caringbridge of this journey through cancer and now widowhood and single parenting.

Maybe it won't end up being anything at all, or maybe it will be a glimpse into my heart, my life, my current situation, my testimony.

Whatever it becomes, I am touched that you are interested.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Give us THIS day our daily bread

Give us THIS day our daily bread. Matt 6:11

I keep repeating this verse of the Lord's Prayer. We have to remind ourselves that this battle is fought one day at a time. And God promises to give us what we need today. 

I can only speak for myself, but your prayers for strength and peace truly are being answered. If you know me, you know I struggle with pretty bad anxiety. And in this time as I see my precious husband suffering so terribly, The Holy Spirit has interceded for me, and has kept my mind on today and has helped me hold on to hope for better days ahead. This is no doing of my own. My method of operation is to loose today in tomorrow's worries. But when I have asked The Lord to take the fear, He has. Sometimes I have to ask that every 5 minutes and sometimes He sustains me much longer. 

There are moments, like when I am alone in our bed at night nursing our newborn daughter that the fear becomes so heavy I can barely breathe, but then I feel a weight lifted and God reminding me that He is in control, and that He did give us THIS day our daily bread. He is getting us through today, and we are not to worry about tomorrow. He is faithful. 

Somewhere around Aria's 4am feeding I landed on one of the religious channels at the end of the channel list and I got a little message of hope. There was a song about the harvest and it said something along the lines of 'Be patient, in 4 months there will be a harvest.' And our treatment plan is 4 months long. I will be holding on to that piece of hope.

As for specific prayers:

-Pray that Brandon does not need the WBC booster shot today, and if he does that this new Claritin and Aleve concoction the doctor recommended makes a huge difference in the side effects of it.

-Pray for God to provide a way for us to try a new nausea medication for the next time. It is not covered by insurance and we are working on trying to get preauthorization for it.

-Pray that Brandon turns a corner to improvement today.

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