Here is a link for the live streaming today at 1pm Colorado time:
https://new.livestream.com/accounts/1416912/events/3430785 />
And a link for for info:
http://m.legacy.com/dignity-memorial/obituary-preview.aspx?n=Brandon-Hayslip&lc=2556&pid=172566661&mid=6133287 />
Monday, September 29, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Lifted up
Grief is a strange thing. It comes at the oddest times sometimes. Like when a huge spider was crawling on the floor, and I instinctually jump on the sofa, laughing as everyone was trying to locate it. Matt came to the rescue, and once it was 'taken care of' it just hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm gonna have to kill my own spiders now.
Thank you all for your comments and messages. They have ministered to my heart. There are two in particular regarding Brandon's passing alone that have been such comfort to me. As USJET (from ar15.com) said in his comment regarding the passing of his father and Brandon alone, 'As you saw with Brandon, love held them back. They needed to be alone to take that walk.' So beautifully said USJET, thank you. And a friend's mother who worked in hospice, assuring me that it is not uncommon at all for some to wait until they are alone. Maybe that's why God put it on my heart to share those details, because he knew that these words would bring me such comfort.
From those near who can physically be my strength to those afar who's words and prayers have lifted me up, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
From laughter to pain so quickly. This happens over and over all day long. You don't realize exactly how entwined your life is with your spouse until they are gone. Everything has his fingerprints on it. Everything changes.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Well done my good and faithful servant
As most of you know, Brandon went to be with Jesus today. I lay here,
completely exhausted, and unable to sleep, on his side of the bed. One
of my best friends lays next to me.
The events of today just keep spinning in my mind. I can't believe this is real.
I have gone back and forth about what details to share, and what to treasure as only my own. Ultimately, there was a beauty to Brandon's passing that God is telling me to share.
We had worship music on, one of my favorite playlists. I had just finished showering and getting dressed and went to Brandon's bedside. How Great Thou Art by Carrie Underwood was playing.
This song has significance to us, and I felt lead to quietly sing along with it to Brandon as I held his hand. He always loved hearing me singing. (Not only is love blind, but it must be deaf too.)
Tears streamed down my face when the song was over as I quietly told him how much I loved him, and how grateful I am for the life we shared together . I reassured him that because of the love he showed to others, that Aria and I are so loved and supported that he did not have to worry about us. I told him that God will take care of us. I kissed his forehead and went to the other room.
A few minutes later I stepped out in the hall with my dad to make a phone call about having the oxygen and wheelchair picked up from the house. As I walked back in to get a pen, still on the phone and with my dad behind me, I noticed something was different.
I dashed to the bed, hastily hanging up the phone and tossing it, only to find that Brandon had passed. I lost it, angry at myself that I wasn't there. I had hardly left the room in two weeks, how could this happen?! My mom and Matt with Aria rushed into the room.
I was so upset that I was not holding his hand as he completed his calling here on earth. I am his wife, I needed to be with him for this, and I wasn't. I was on a stupid phone call.
Then suddenly I was filled with peace about it. This is how it was supposed to be. This was God's plan. This is how Brandon wanted it.
I truly believe that Brandon, selfless to his last moment, let go when he knew no one was in the room. He did not want us to experience those last moments which can be so difficult to see. Instead, we saw him at peace.
Friends and family surrounded us almost immediately. I have not had to think about anything, and I'm so grateful for that as I am in a daze. Halcyon Hospice took care of all the details, the faculty at Heritage Club cried with us.
My heart aches in a way I can not even describe, and I know the reality has not yet even set in.
Waking tomorrow will be difficult to say the least.
I go to bed tonight with an emptiness to my core. Yet, I have peace in this moment.
This path feels impossible, but I do know that God will guide me and carry me. He has provided for me through all of this, and many keep reminding me that He has a special heart for orphans and widows, and He will faithfully see me though the difficult journey ahead.
It is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know I will get mad. I will feel forgotten. I will hate having to put one foot in front of the other. My miracle didn't happen. I will have to continue to live one day at a time, and trust God's plan.
Please continue to pray for us all as we face our tomorrow's without Brandon.
The events of today just keep spinning in my mind. I can't believe this is real.
I have gone back and forth about what details to share, and what to treasure as only my own. Ultimately, there was a beauty to Brandon's passing that God is telling me to share.
We had worship music on, one of my favorite playlists. I had just finished showering and getting dressed and went to Brandon's bedside. How Great Thou Art by Carrie Underwood was playing.
This song has significance to us, and I felt lead to quietly sing along with it to Brandon as I held his hand. He always loved hearing me singing. (Not only is love blind, but it must be deaf too.)
Tears streamed down my face when the song was over as I quietly told him how much I loved him, and how grateful I am for the life we shared together . I reassured him that because of the love he showed to others, that Aria and I are so loved and supported that he did not have to worry about us. I told him that God will take care of us. I kissed his forehead and went to the other room.
A few minutes later I stepped out in the hall with my dad to make a phone call about having the oxygen and wheelchair picked up from the house. As I walked back in to get a pen, still on the phone and with my dad behind me, I noticed something was different.
I dashed to the bed, hastily hanging up the phone and tossing it, only to find that Brandon had passed. I lost it, angry at myself that I wasn't there. I had hardly left the room in two weeks, how could this happen?! My mom and Matt with Aria rushed into the room.
I was so upset that I was not holding his hand as he completed his calling here on earth. I am his wife, I needed to be with him for this, and I wasn't. I was on a stupid phone call.
Then suddenly I was filled with peace about it. This is how it was supposed to be. This was God's plan. This is how Brandon wanted it.
I truly believe that Brandon, selfless to his last moment, let go when he knew no one was in the room. He did not want us to experience those last moments which can be so difficult to see. Instead, we saw him at peace.
Friends and family surrounded us almost immediately. I have not had to think about anything, and I'm so grateful for that as I am in a daze. Halcyon Hospice took care of all the details, the faculty at Heritage Club cried with us.
My heart aches in a way I can not even describe, and I know the reality has not yet even set in.
Waking tomorrow will be difficult to say the least.
I go to bed tonight with an emptiness to my core. Yet, I have peace in this moment.
This path feels impossible, but I do know that God will guide me and carry me. He has provided for me through all of this, and many keep reminding me that He has a special heart for orphans and widows, and He will faithfully see me though the difficult journey ahead.
It is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know I will get mad. I will feel forgotten. I will hate having to put one foot in front of the other. My miracle didn't happen. I will have to continue to live one day at a time, and trust God's plan.
Please continue to pray for us all as we face our tomorrow's without Brandon.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
The latest & Fundraiser Details
I'm not quite sure what to update at this point. Things have declined
dramatically in the past 36 hours. The nurses say his heart is strong
despite all the other complications, which is why he is hanging on with
all he has. Not only is his heart strong physically, but also
emotionally. He is so dedicated to this life God has given him here.
As his breathing became strained last night I tried to calm his spirit, telling him that it's ok to let go. His brow furrowed and he said with such heartache, 'I don't want to.' My heart shattered to pieces. I tried again this afternoon to reassure him that Aria and I are being bathed in love and support and we will be ok. He weakly begged me not to make him talk about it. So I won't.
I want so badly to calm his mind, talk to him of the beauty that Heaven will be, and not to be afraid because there will be no pain, only Glory. I want to remind him of his own words to me a month ago, that the best that we experience here is only a glimpse of the greatness that God has for us in eternity.
Anytime he briefly opens his eyes he searches for me. I scoot my bed up next to his at night so it feels as if we are in the same bed again. Last night he woke many times only to say, 'Sweetie...I love you so much', and go back to sleep.
Please pray for his continued comfort and for God to bring him home gracefully and peacefully. I have not given up my prayer for a miracle, but I am coming to terms that I don't think it is in God's plan. Pray for our strength as well, these next days will be the hardest yet.
Quite a few of you have asked about all the different fund raisers that many have put together on our behalf, so I thought to share them and links to them all in one place:
Giveforward organized by Abbey & Justin Pikul, and Jess and Steve Cordova:
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/srh5/brandon-s-journey-with-the-big-c-
Lifting the Hayslips Beef & Beer in Quakertown by many High School friends:
Details: https://www.facebook.com/events/967129176647547/
Donation: https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=F0hrEsu2-Je7lgow-POQgALjWFzyPd_z5SIerLGjn...
Younique Makeup Fundraiser (4 days left) organized by Kelly Prince:
https://www.youniqueproducts.com/Fiberlashaddict/party/574490/view
Thirty-One Accessories Fundraiser by Michelle Stoneback:
https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E4956025&from=DIRECTLINK&verify=true&extern=tr...
ThomasTypographix Artwork by Erika Thomas:
Digital download: https://www.etsy.com/listing/204097994/brandon-hayslip-special-edition-my-grace?ref=shop_home_active...
Faith Art Canvas: https://www.etsy.com/listing/203417933/brandon-hayslip-special-edition-david?ref=shop_home_active_4
Grace Art Canvas: https://www.etsy.com/listing/203417933/brandon-hayslip-special-edition-david?ref=shop_home_active_4
Geissele Special Edition Trigger: (Picture is in photos on caringbridge)
Details: Geissele Super Select Fire Trigger that has a picture of Brandon and Christina laser engraved on it. There are 51 triggers and all are serialized. 00 and 01 are going to Brandon. The rest Geissele will donate to those Arfcommers who will send in to Geissele a check or money order made out to Christina. Geissele will then forward all the checks and MO onto Christina.
The donation amount is $250 (retail on the SSF is $320 so its a deal!). Geissele will pay for shipping and include cool Geissele swag. I ask that when you get your trigger you take a picture of it and share on FB, Instagram, Arfcom, etc with a link to the Hayslip Family's donation site. This will help get even more donations for the Hayslip's.
Just call into the shop (610) 272-2060 and ask for Kelsey. She will be taking your name and address and reserving a serial number for you.
There was also a raffle on ar15.com, but it has been completed and was tremendously successful!
Wow, when I look at all of this I am truly humbled and so incredibly grateful. Thank you to everyone that has been a part of these fundraisers, organizing and donating! God Bless you all!
As his breathing became strained last night I tried to calm his spirit, telling him that it's ok to let go. His brow furrowed and he said with such heartache, 'I don't want to.' My heart shattered to pieces. I tried again this afternoon to reassure him that Aria and I are being bathed in love and support and we will be ok. He weakly begged me not to make him talk about it. So I won't.
I want so badly to calm his mind, talk to him of the beauty that Heaven will be, and not to be afraid because there will be no pain, only Glory. I want to remind him of his own words to me a month ago, that the best that we experience here is only a glimpse of the greatness that God has for us in eternity.
Anytime he briefly opens his eyes he searches for me. I scoot my bed up next to his at night so it feels as if we are in the same bed again. Last night he woke many times only to say, 'Sweetie...I love you so much', and go back to sleep.
Please pray for his continued comfort and for God to bring him home gracefully and peacefully. I have not given up my prayer for a miracle, but I am coming to terms that I don't think it is in God's plan. Pray for our strength as well, these next days will be the hardest yet.
Quite a few of you have asked about all the different fund raisers that many have put together on our behalf, so I thought to share them and links to them all in one place:
Giveforward organized by Abbey & Justin Pikul, and Jess and Steve Cordova:
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/srh5/brandon-s-journey-with-the-big-c-
Lifting the Hayslips Beef & Beer in Quakertown by many High School friends:
Details: https://www.facebook.com/events/967129176647547/
Donation: https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=F0hrEsu2-Je7lgow-POQgALjWFzyPd_z5SIerLGjn...
Younique Makeup Fundraiser (4 days left) organized by Kelly Prince:
https://www.youniqueproducts.com/Fiberlashaddict/party/574490/view
Thirty-One Accessories Fundraiser by Michelle Stoneback:
https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E4956025&from=DIRECTLINK&verify=true&extern=tr...
ThomasTypographix Artwork by Erika Thomas:
Digital download: https://www.etsy.com/listing/204097994/brandon-hayslip-special-edition-my-grace?ref=shop_home_active...
Faith Art Canvas: https://www.etsy.com/listing/203417933/brandon-hayslip-special-edition-david?ref=shop_home_active_4
Grace Art Canvas: https://www.etsy.com/listing/203417933/brandon-hayslip-special-edition-david?ref=shop_home_active_4
Geissele Special Edition Trigger: (Picture is in photos on caringbridge)
Details: Geissele Super Select Fire Trigger that has a picture of Brandon and Christina laser engraved on it. There are 51 triggers and all are serialized. 00 and 01 are going to Brandon. The rest Geissele will donate to those Arfcommers who will send in to Geissele a check or money order made out to Christina. Geissele will then forward all the checks and MO onto Christina.
The donation amount is $250 (retail on the SSF is $320 so its a deal!). Geissele will pay for shipping and include cool Geissele swag. I ask that when you get your trigger you take a picture of it and share on FB, Instagram, Arfcom, etc with a link to the Hayslip Family's donation site. This will help get even more donations for the Hayslip's.
Just call into the shop (610) 272-2060 and ask for Kelsey. She will be taking your name and address and reserving a serial number for you.
There was also a raffle on ar15.com, but it has been completed and was tremendously successful!
Wow, when I look at all of this I am truly humbled and so incredibly grateful. Thank you to everyone that has been a part of these fundraisers, organizing and donating! God Bless you all!
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Joy in Pain
God gave me this thought to rest in today and I wanted to share it, as it is really calming my heart for the moment:
With every image of this battle that I fear I won't forget, I strengthen myself against the pain it causes me, knowing that though it hurts me to the core, it is ministering true love to Brandon in his time of need. Giving love far outweighs the pain I take on in serving my husband. True love is selfless, and this is where I get to bless Brandon. As Jesus took the pain of the cross out of love for us, Lord, let the love that was shown outshine the pain I feel. Let it overcome and encompass the hurt, and fill me with joy. Amen.
With every image of this battle that I fear I won't forget, I strengthen myself against the pain it causes me, knowing that though it hurts me to the core, it is ministering true love to Brandon in his time of need. Giving love far outweighs the pain I take on in serving my husband. True love is selfless, and this is where I get to bless Brandon. As Jesus took the pain of the cross out of love for us, Lord, let the love that was shown outshine the pain I feel. Let it overcome and encompass the hurt, and fill me with joy. Amen.
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