What is this?

What is this? I don't really know, other then a continuation of my updates and writings that I was sharing previously on Caringbridge of this journey through cancer and now widowhood and single parenting.

Maybe it won't end up being anything at all, or maybe it will be a glimpse into my heart, my life, my current situation, my testimony.

Whatever it becomes, I am touched that you are interested.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

A new chapter in life after loss

It has been some time since I've last updated and much has changed since then, so I'll just start there.

At the end of the summer my lupus got to a new level of difficult.  Back to back steroid treatments, steroid shots, maxxing out on numerous NSAIDS and I still was in excruciating chronic pain and fatigue.  My doctor recommended I start the next level of medications.  For the most part once one progresses to this next treatment level there is no going backwards again.  Some can find long term remission or medication managed lupus, but I have yet to go more then 6 months without needing to adjust treatment because of progression.

I was just not ready to go there yet, especially since there is a risk with these immunosuppressants for developing cancer, a door I just cannot easily open, especially since my mom did develop Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma as a result of her autoimmune disorders.

So, I requested and was granted a 3 month medical leave of absence from work to allow myself to attempt to recover from the past 5 years of stress and seek some alternative "Hail Mary" treatments and appointments as a last ditch effort before infusion treatments.

I started weekly acupuncture and a supplement called Mannatech my mom has been trying to get me on for years.  I was referred to a Neurologist, a Pulmenologist, a Dermatologist and seemingly all the other "ologist's" to get fresh eyes on my health.  Thankfully all checked out well and the Lupus has done no permanent damage, and my grab-bag of symptoms were solely flare related.

About 9 weeks into my leave of absence I started feeling relief and by the end of my 3 months I actually felt the best I've felt in years.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on the situation and what the next steps were and I came to the difficult realization that at this time, I just can not work full time and have lupus and be an active parent to a toddler.  Something had to change, and lupus and motherhood were not exactly negotiable.

So I considered resigning from job.  A choice that when laid out logically makes no sense whatsoever.  My position allowed me to work from home and had been incredibly supportive of the challenges I had faced in the past 5 years.  I had health insurance for Aria and I and relative job security as I was recently given an amazing opportunity to create and direct a new department.

But God.  He had a different plan for me.

When there is great risk and uncertainty in a choice and yet I have complete peace about the decision I am about to make - that's when I know I am following His direction for me.

And so I resigned from my job.

Something I never have done without having another job lined up.

And so starts the next chapter of my life.  I do not know what direction it will take me, just that I'm following it one day at a time.  So far God has made things just fall in place where they are needed.  My amazing boyfriend Karl has made it possible for me to take this leap of faith, I've been able to trade some child care with a friend so that we both have some kid-free time, and I've had the ability to really step into my role on the HeartLight Board of Directors and help in the preparations for our annual Gala and invest more time into the group of Young Widow(er)s that I facilitate.  I have even been able to take on a little interior design work on the side and after trying (and LOVING) a couple products - just became a consultant for Rodan + Fields.

I am grateful that in this moment I turn the pages of this new adventure with hope and anticipation, something I really didn't think would be possible again in life after loss.



4 comments:

  1. Hello Everyone, I had Lupus as well and I was at the point of getting confused in life because it was really making me feel unsettled. But I came across a testimony of a lady on how she was introduced to a herbal doctor called Dr Ighodalo by her cousin's friend when i was on a research but i never thought this could cure my Lupus. I decided to give it a try and i contacted the mail of the doctor she placed on her testimony via dr.ighodalocuringhome@gmail.com and i got a reply immediately i messaged him, I followed his instructions and did all he asked me to do and apply the remedy he sent for me as he instructed and now am cured totally and really happy to be a free person again. So i decided to share my experience because i believe that there are still lives out there that really needs to get out of this Lupus diseases please you can get in touch with Dr IGHODALO immediately to help you get cured totally via dr.ighodalocuringhome@gmail.com thank you

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  2. My husband left me with 3 Children and went to stay with his Mistress whom i felt use a spell on him, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down. But all thanks goes to Baba Alika, who i met online on one faithful day, as I was searching for tips to get my husband back home, I came across several testimonies about this particular man. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he help them to get pregnant,cure herpes simplex virus,and other sickness, and some testified that he prayed to stop divorce. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Angeline, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email (babaalikahealinghome @gmail.com) After reading all these testimonies, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. Baba Alika you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on email: babaalikahealinghome@gmail.com. he will surely help you solve your problem.

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  3. Hello, I am a Belgian mother of 17-year old son with autism. My son is verbal,followed normal education with help from me, his issues : shyness, constipation, concentration problems, problems with maturity, practically no friends because interaction with people is difficult, parasite, yeast on him, acne, kind of dandruff on top of his head. Since the age of 8, we have been trying a lot of natural supplements, hospitals med and i have wasted a lot of money trying to make him became a man and live freely without being intimidated by friends in the neighbor hood also to get him better and more focused for school matters and his general health. Nothing ever seems to pull through not until one day, i decided to share his situation to a very close friend of mine who claims there is an herbal man who cured her 12 years old son called Baba Alika and has also helped a lot of women to cure their children's Autism. quickly i contacted his email: babaalikahealinghome@gmail.com been giving to me by miss Ava, just to give him a test, i spoke to him he asked me to purchase his Autism roots herbs and seed oil which i did, he promised to send it as soon as purchased and thereafter i received it and start to use the Autism herbal med immediately on him for only 7 days instructed by Baba Alika. it was unbelievable after 21 days i was my son totally cured and free from Autism disgrace and embarrassment. There was so much improvement. He seems to get more awareness, gives more interaction at home, interact with friends that never wanted him close. Today i am here to spread the good news of my son health on how Baba Alika saved him from the nightmare and outbreaks of Autism. You can contact him via email: babaalikahealinghome@gmail.com if you are still in my past situation...I guarantee you, your Autism child is going to be healed and feel alive again just as mine right now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello, I am a Belgian mother of 17-year old son with autism. My son is verbal,followed normal education with help from me, his issues : shyness, constipation, concentration problems, problems with maturity, practically no friends because interaction with people is difficult, parasite, yeast on him, acne, kind of dandruff on top of his head. Since the age of 8, we have been trying a lot of natural supplements, hospitals med and i have wasted a lot of money trying to make him became a man and live freely without being intimidated by friends in the neighbor hood also to get him better and more focused for school matters and his general health. Nothing ever seems to pull through not until one day, i decided to share his situation to a very close friend of mine who claims there is an herbal man who cured her 12 years old son called Baba Alika and has also helped a lot of women to cure their children's Autism. quickly i contacted his email: babaalikahealinghome@gmail.com been giving to me by miss Ava, just to give him a test, i spoke to him he asked me to purchase his Autism roots herbs and seed oil which i did, he promised to send it as soon as purchased and thereafter i received it and start to use the Autism herbal med immediately on him for only 7 days instructed by Baba Alika. it was unbelievable after 21 days i was my son totally cured and free from Autism disgrace and embarrassment. There was so much improvement. He seems to get more awareness, gives more interaction at home, interact with friends that never wanted him close. Today i am here to spread the good news of my son health on how Baba Alika saved him from the nightmare and outbreaks of Autism. You can contact him via email: babaalikahealinghome@gmail.com if you are still in my past situation...I guarantee you, your Autism child is going to be healed and feel alive again just as mine right now.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!