What is this?

What is this? I don't really know, other then a continuation of my updates and writings that I was sharing previously on Caringbridge of this journey through cancer and now widowhood and single parenting.

Maybe it won't end up being anything at all, or maybe it will be a glimpse into my heart, my life, my current situation, my testimony.

Whatever it becomes, I am touched that you are interested.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Where we wait

I wanted to quickly let everyone know what is going on.   

Basically, for a while Brandon has been feeling unwell at times, off an on.  For the most part it seemed to be attributed to his Avastin Treatments.  His last PET scan in February was clear, and he wasn't feeling great at times then, so we had been pursuing other possible issues. 

2 weeks ago he met with a Urologist and his Gastroenterologist.  The GI doc (who is absolutely fabulous), ordered a CT scan and blood work including checking his thyroid and CEA levels.  Based on the symptoms and the fact that Brandon discovered there was a dosage mistake with his thyroid medication over the past 5 months (only getting 25% of the dosage needed), we were quite confident that had to be the issue, paired with his kidneys just being tired of the Avastin. 

When the CEA levels came back raised, it brought up a level of concern that maybe we should just get a PET scan instead of a CT scan to just rule out that option.  The doctors ordered an Urgent PET scan for the next day and a few hours later we got the dreaded call. 

It showed activity in lymph nodes in the abdomen and the neck.  It seems that the area in the abdomen is a different location then the previous effected lymph nodes and is near the aorta, meaning it can not safely be biopsied.  However, they can biopsy the lymph nodes in the neck and will be doing that tomorrow or Wednesday.  Hopefully we will have results within a few days, or by the end of the week. 

Our Oncologist is on vacation til the 7th, so we have an appointment with him on the 10th to discuss a likely treatment plan, given the biopsy comes back as we all anticipate it will.  It is possible that he will start chemo on the 14th, and would likely be the same treatment regiment as before, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. 

I am getting induced either this Friday the 4th or Monday the 7th if baby girl does not come prior to that. 

We are doing our absolute best to trust in God's timing.  We do not understand, and don't expect to - so we have to have faith, which is easier said then done.  Some moments we are hit with the reality of it like a ton of bricks and have to pray for strength minute to minute for hours on end.  Other times we are blessed to feel God's peace releasing the weight on our shoulders momentarily. But regardless, we know that God will provide for us in this time, and will carry us when we are too weak to walk.  

Please pray a few specific prayers with us in this time: 

-Pray for a miracle that the biopsy comes back negative for cancer!  We are believing in this prayer right now.  It is unlikely, but that is what miracles are!  Lord have mercy on us. Allow us to be a testament to Him by being living proof of a miracle! 

-Pray for us all to be able to still feel the joy and excitement of awaiting the arrival of our precious daughter. 

-For strength and peace for us and our families. 

As for everyone who so kindly has offered to help us in some way I will be starting a care planner here on CaringBridge.  Last time I had a hard time asking for and accepting help, but this time we are in a whole different situation.  With a newborn and lupus, I know that the ONLY way we will get through this is with God and help.  Once we know what is next I will fill in the care planner (can be found above next to "Photos", called "Planner") and will make a post about it. 

As we are trying to regain joy and excitement in this short period of time before reality really hits I'm going to wrap this up.  Talking, thinking, typing about it gets me consumed in it, and it's just too much to think of right now and we are trying to focus on the blessing of life we are about to experience. 

Thank you so, so much for your support and prayers. God bless you! 


  1. By peg reynolds — Jul 1, 2014 7:58pm
    What words can anyone say ... That sometimes can seem so empty. Just know that I am so sorry to hear of Brandon's reoccurrence of possible cancer returning especially with the baby girl coming. I recall all the miracles that Gwen Wilkerson had during her lifetime of her illness. Our God shows himself strong on the behalf of this children. Praying peace for all.

  2. By Shari May — Jul 1, 2014 7:37pm
    Praying for I guys!! Love u and your family.

  3. By Janice Lowstuter — Jun 30, 2014 9:04pm
    I am so very sorry to hear of your difficulties, Brandon and Christina. Hang in there and lean on God and those who HE brings into your lives. So very difficult to understand why this is happening. Your are on our hearts and in our prayers.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts!