Another Day

We had hoped Brandon would come back up to our bedroom last night, but later in the evening he asked for another night in the guest room with his parents care taking the night shift. 

In the middle of the night he woke with a racing heart and other strange symptoms and had an elevated heart rate. By this morning his heart rate had not dropped and was told by the doc to go to the ER. 

He is admitted and getting blood work, oxygen, a CT scan and a slew of other tests to try to figure out what is going on.

My heart breaks for him. I just want him to catch a freakin break. We are crying out to God for protection over him and for his body to have the strength to fight and overcome this. Please pray with us that there is nothing serious going on and he turns a corner again and can find relief from feeling so terrible.

I am so thankful God has provided us such amazing support. Bonnie and Roger have been here every night. Bonnie has kept watch over Brandon's bedside every hour of the long nights, praying, giving meds, tending to her son. Roger has taken Brandon to every doctors appointment and every hospital visit (5 already this week) since I can't. David has brought food and kept Brandon company, picked up prescriptions and took a night shift. My mom has fed me, taken Aria so I can be with and care take for Brandon during the days, cleaned, ran errands, done laundry and dishes constantly. I don't know how I could do it without their help. 

Please continue to keep Brandon in your prayers. 

Thank you for being our prayer warriors!

Turning a Corner

Thank you Lord, He has heard our prayers! We prayed for relief, for strength for Brandon's body, for the treatment side effects to at least become tolerable. Thankfully, yesterday late afternoon Brandon started to slowly improve, despite having to get the dreaded shot. We think the Claritin and Aleve concoction has really helped those side effects, and a different med to help with a huge range of other symptoms has really helped. 

Brandon was actually able to talk with us, and watch a couple TV shows and eat a little bit. He also got some legitimate rest.

Thank you all for joining us in prayer, and please continue to pray for great improvement, he misses Aria and wants to be able to hold her and change her and be her Daddy.

Give us THIS day our daily bread

Give us THIS day our daily bread. Matt 6:11

I keep repeating this verse of the Lord's Prayer. We have to remind ourselves that this battle is fought one day at a time. And God promises to give us what we need today. 

I can only speak for myself, but your prayers for strength and peace truly are being answered. If you know me, you know I struggle with pretty bad anxiety. And in this time as I see my precious husband suffering so terribly, The Holy Spirit has interceded for me, and has kept my mind on today and has helped me hold on to hope for better days ahead. This is no doing of my own. My method of operation is to loose today in tomorrow's worries. But when I have asked The Lord to take the fear, He has. Sometimes I have to ask that every 5 minutes and sometimes He sustains me much longer. 

There are moments, like when I am alone in our bed at night nursing our newborn daughter that the fear becomes so heavy I can barely breathe, but then I feel a weight lifted and God reminding me that He is in control, and that He did give us THIS day our daily bread. He is getting us through today, and we are not to worry about tomorrow. He is faithful. 

Somewhere around Aria's 4am feeding I landed on one of the religious channels at the end of the channel list and I got a little message of hope. There was a song about the harvest and it said something along the lines of 'Be patient, in 4 months there will be a harvest.' And our treatment plan is 4 months long. I will be holding on to that piece of hope.


As for specific prayers:

-Pray that Brandon does not need the WBC booster shot today, and if he does that this new Claritin and Aleve concoction the doctor recommended makes a huge difference in the side effects of it.

-Pray for God to provide a way for us to try a new nausea medication for the next time. It is not covered by insurance and we are working on trying to get preauthorization for it.

-Pray that Brandon turns a corner to improvement today.

Treatment 1: Days 2 and 3

Last night and today have been incredibly difficult for Brandon. He had chest pain all last night and this morning resulting in going to the oncologists to get disconnected from the pump early today. He was sent to the hospital to get an EKG because the doctor was worried that he was having cardio toxicity to the the chemo which can mean a heart attack. Thank God the EKG was normal and his oxygen levels normal too, so they are not quite sure what was causing the chest pain. A few hours after being disconnected the pain lessened. 

He is still suffering from extreme nausea, intermittent chest pain and all over crappy feeling. 

Bonnie and Roger were up with him all night and with him at the doctor and hospital all morning. I am so thankful for God providing the ability for their constant support. My mom has been cooking, doing laundry, errands, chores and aiding me in all I need to care for Aria, Brandon and myself. 

Please pray for improvement for Brandon and for him, and us all, to get some rest tonight. Pray his nausea lessens so he can eat - his body needs nourishment and energy so badly. 

Every day His mercies are new - and we will believe that tomorrow will be better. 

I feel the strength that you all have been praying for, so thank you for your constant prayers for us all.

I have been singing Desert Song in my head all day...God is still good, no matter what Desert we may find ourself in.

Treatment 1: Day 1 and 2

Well, we prayed for Brandon to be able to tolerate treatment better this time around and at this point God has answered 'no' or 'not yet' to that request. He is incredibly ill, weak, nauseated and in pain. We are combating all the side effects as best we can and we continue to pray for God to give his body supernatural strength to tolerate this better.

The doctor said that often the body remembers from the last time and just revolts against it. However we continue to hold hope and pray ceaselessly that somehow things will improve for him. 

I am so thankful for the support The Lord has provided for us in this time. My mom is here until the 20th and Bonnie, Roger and David are all rallying with us to care for Brandon and help me with Aria and all the nuances of life that need to keep on keeping on.

Many friends near and far have offered to help, and once we get through a little bit of this we will know how to give the opportunities to help.  Thank you all for you generous hearts.

In the midst of this storm we are trying to count our blessings. God has answered prayers, they may not always be the main one we wanted answered, but He is indeed making his presence known to us. We were so blessed to have the early arrival of Aria, a quick and uncomplicated labor, successful nursing, a baby that is quite easy going and not fussy, my lupus has remained quiet, a wonderful family support system available and many other blessings that we don't take for granted.

I often find myself at a loss for how to pray for this situation, and would love if you felt inclined to share with me how you have prayed.


As for specific prayer requests:

-for Brandon to be able to tolerate the treatments better with less devastating side effects
-For every drop of the chemo to be annihilating every last cancer cell
-For quick recovery after treatments