Turning a Corner

Thank you Lord, He has heard our prayers! We prayed for relief, for strength for Brandon's body, for the treatment side effects to at least become tolerable. Thankfully, yesterday late afternoon Brandon started to slowly improve, despite having to get the dreaded shot. We think the Claritin and Aleve concoction has really helped those side effects, and a different med to help with a huge range of other symptoms has really helped. 

Brandon was actually able to talk with us, and watch a couple TV shows and eat a little bit. He also got some legitimate rest.

Thank you all for joining us in prayer, and please continue to pray for great improvement, he misses Aria and wants to be able to hold her and change her and be her Daddy.

Give us THIS day our daily bread

Give us THIS day our daily bread. Matt 6:11

I keep repeating this verse of the Lord's Prayer. We have to remind ourselves that this battle is fought one day at a time. And God promises to give us what we need today. 

I can only speak for myself, but your prayers for strength and peace truly are being answered. If you know me, you know I struggle with pretty bad anxiety. And in this time as I see my precious husband suffering so terribly, The Holy Spirit has interceded for me, and has kept my mind on today and has helped me hold on to hope for better days ahead. This is no doing of my own. My method of operation is to loose today in tomorrow's worries. But when I have asked The Lord to take the fear, He has. Sometimes I have to ask that every 5 minutes and sometimes He sustains me much longer. 

There are moments, like when I am alone in our bed at night nursing our newborn daughter that the fear becomes so heavy I can barely breathe, but then I feel a weight lifted and God reminding me that He is in control, and that He did give us THIS day our daily bread. He is getting us through today, and we are not to worry about tomorrow. He is faithful. 

Somewhere around Aria's 4am feeding I landed on one of the religious channels at the end of the channel list and I got a little message of hope. There was a song about the harvest and it said something along the lines of 'Be patient, in 4 months there will be a harvest.' And our treatment plan is 4 months long. I will be holding on to that piece of hope.


As for specific prayers:

-Pray that Brandon does not need the WBC booster shot today, and if he does that this new Claritin and Aleve concoction the doctor recommended makes a huge difference in the side effects of it.

-Pray for God to provide a way for us to try a new nausea medication for the next time. It is not covered by insurance and we are working on trying to get preauthorization for it.

-Pray that Brandon turns a corner to improvement today.

Treatment 1: Days 2 and 3

Last night and today have been incredibly difficult for Brandon. He had chest pain all last night and this morning resulting in going to the oncologists to get disconnected from the pump early today. He was sent to the hospital to get an EKG because the doctor was worried that he was having cardio toxicity to the the chemo which can mean a heart attack. Thank God the EKG was normal and his oxygen levels normal too, so they are not quite sure what was causing the chest pain. A few hours after being disconnected the pain lessened. 

He is still suffering from extreme nausea, intermittent chest pain and all over crappy feeling. 

Bonnie and Roger were up with him all night and with him at the doctor and hospital all morning. I am so thankful for God providing the ability for their constant support. My mom has been cooking, doing laundry, errands, chores and aiding me in all I need to care for Aria, Brandon and myself. 

Please pray for improvement for Brandon and for him, and us all, to get some rest tonight. Pray his nausea lessens so he can eat - his body needs nourishment and energy so badly. 

Every day His mercies are new - and we will believe that tomorrow will be better. 

I feel the strength that you all have been praying for, so thank you for your constant prayers for us all.

I have been singing Desert Song in my head all day...God is still good, no matter what Desert we may find ourself in.

Treatment 1: Day 1 and 2

Well, we prayed for Brandon to be able to tolerate treatment better this time around and at this point God has answered 'no' or 'not yet' to that request. He is incredibly ill, weak, nauseated and in pain. We are combating all the side effects as best we can and we continue to pray for God to give his body supernatural strength to tolerate this better.

The doctor said that often the body remembers from the last time and just revolts against it. However we continue to hold hope and pray ceaselessly that somehow things will improve for him. 

I am so thankful for the support The Lord has provided for us in this time. My mom is here until the 20th and Bonnie, Roger and David are all rallying with us to care for Brandon and help me with Aria and all the nuances of life that need to keep on keeping on.

Many friends near and far have offered to help, and once we get through a little bit of this we will know how to give the opportunities to help.  Thank you all for you generous hearts.

In the midst of this storm we are trying to count our blessings. God has answered prayers, they may not always be the main one we wanted answered, but He is indeed making his presence known to us. We were so blessed to have the early arrival of Aria, a quick and uncomplicated labor, successful nursing, a baby that is quite easy going and not fussy, my lupus has remained quiet, a wonderful family support system available and many other blessings that we don't take for granted.

I often find myself at a loss for how to pray for this situation, and would love if you felt inclined to share with me how you have prayed.


As for specific prayer requests:

-for Brandon to be able to tolerate the treatments better with less devastating side effects
-For every drop of the chemo to be annihilating every last cancer cell
-For quick recovery after treatments 

We have a plan

Whew, what a roller coaster ride the past 2 weeks have been. 

We were blessed with the arrival of our daughter, Aria Zanne on July 2nd.  Among all the chaos of our circumstances God blessed us by allowing me to go into labor naturally at 38 1/2 weeks, only have 8 hours of labor and deliver a healthy baby.  

Brandon's biopsy was supposed to be that same day, so we had to reschedule.  However, upon arrival to Labor & Delivery Brandon was feeling ill and had been fighting a fever the past 12 hours, so his oncologist told him to go get checked out in the ER, so against everything he wanted to do, he headed to the ER while I was in labor.  Thankfully we hired a doula who was there by my side for the 3ish hours Brandon was getting blood work, a CT scan and xray.  He made it back in time (with wheelchair escort service and a lovely hospital gown) for my epidural to kick in and for the birth.  Huge thanks to the team at Exempla Lutheran Hospital for working so hard to get him looked at and back up to me in L&D.  In the end they could not find any signs of infections and released him with some meds.

On Monday he had the biopsy, and they were actually able to get samples of both the neck and the abdomen.  There was confusion about a third location in his back, but it turns out that was some sort of miscommunication.  The preliminary results of the neck were not obviously cancer, which got our hopes up really, really high. However, Tuesday evening we got the news that it is indeed a recurrence of the colon cancer in both locations.

Today Brandon met with the oncologist for the plan.  He will start chemo on Monday (14th) and will be the same regiment as the last time, except using the modifications that we figured out along the way last time.  And, the plan is for 8 rounds of treatment (last time was 12) then a PET scan that will HOPEFULLY, Lord willing, reveal remission.  

He will go in on Monday, get chemo for a few hours then get hooked up to a pump to come home with til Wednesday disconnect, then in on Thursday for a white blood cell booster shot and repeat every other week.  This time we will start off right away with an anti-nausea med called Emend that was a huge help, a 10% reduction of the chemo, half dose of the Avastin and some additional new concoctions the doctor has found to help other patients. 

Our oncologist spoke very optimistically of getting Brandon back into remission based on how he responded last time and how long we kept it at bay.  This is very hopeful for us all, as this doctor never said that the first time around.  

So, please join us in Praise and Prayer:

Praise:
-God allowed us to find this early.  His next PET was not til August, and of course the earlier caught the better.
-We are blessed with a beautiful daughter to bring joy to this difficult time.
-My lupus has been under control after birth, against all odds
-The support of our families has been absolutely unbelievable.  

Prayer:
-Pray that Brandon responds better to the treatment then last time, allowing him to still be active in life during treatment
-Pray that the 8 treatments are more then enough to return to remission!
-Pray that God fills us with the strength we all need to get through this together, it will not be easy.